Catching my breath

The principal at our main high school organized a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class through UW Health for teachers in our district at a reduced rate. The classes are taught by two lovely women who also work at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. All of the participants are educators. So it is basically super awesome.

I have practiced mindfulness via meditation at various times, but my goal related to this class is to have an embedded practice. I want to (and need to) do a little bit every day. I haven't been going to yoga classes for almost a month now. Part of that is related to my overloaded schedule, but I also found that my yoga classes just were not getting deep enough for me anymore. When I first started practicing yoga, I remember having this beautiful zoned out but still present feeling as I moved through the postures. I don't know if it is just me, but the classes at my studio started to seem just like a work-out instead of a moving meditation - which is really what I crave. So, as I budgeted for the year, I decided to drop my membership at the yoga studio and take this class.

We had our first class last week and I have been working on several daily activities: some at home and some at school. I have done meditations with my students lots of times, but again, not in a daily practice kind of way. This past week, I started every class with a short breathing activity and you wouldn't believe the difference it makes. My nuttiest group of kids were more calm and focused than they had ever been. Several students expressed how much they liked the activities. I think of how little I knew of myself as a teenager and how out of touch I was with how I was feeling - I can imagine it feels great for them. Or at least, they are going along with it. This is something I am committing to continuing in my classes in some form on a daily basis.

For me, I have practiced a breath and balance meditation with the aid of a CD recording at home. In addition to the CDs, the class provided us with a key ring loaded with weekly mantras.





This week the meditation is on loving and kindness. While at school I find time to pause (crazy hard to do - but necessary), "drop in" to my body, and focus on the mantra. If you can't see it in the picture it is as follows: May I be safe; May the children be safe; May all be safe; May I help create safety through the qualities of my presence.

I am really enjoying the practices so far, but everything gets better when you can share it with someone. This week one of my students was feeling really stressed out - she is truly an academic rockstar, but has been absent due to illnesses and struggled to stay on top of her work. She told me she had been looking for guided meditation online without much success. I told her about my class and gave her my CDs after I had loaded them into itunes. In our closing circle at the end of the week, students say their best and hardest part of the week; she said that the best part was getting and using the CDs. Paying it forward always pays off.

So, if you feel so inclined... find a comfortable place where you can remain still for an extended period of time... close your eyes or focus on a non-moving spot and allow your vision to fade... now, find your breath.

The good, the bad, and the stressful.

Ugh.
I am having blog guilt.  You started this thing... you aren't just going to forget about it... are you?
I also feel a sore throat coming on and the list of things to do on my school calendar seem like they will never end.
I snapped at several kids today.
It feels like March in my school life and it is only September 15.
Our pay cut went into effect today.
Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I am doing. What I am doing, however, just never seems to stop. I know I need to let things go, but sometimes it is too difficult to figure those things out, so I just don't let anything go. There have been long hours at school and nights working at home; I haven't been to a yoga class since school started. Yuck.

Ok... Pull it together. Maybe it isn't that bad, but I am a little overwhelmed right now. I am going to use this blog post to try to cheer myself up, so I will tell you about some of the great things that are happening at school instead of writing a rant about all the things on my plate right now.

Number One: The public library in our neighborhood reached out to us to do a partnership wherein my reading students would run regular storytime presentations for the early childhood readers. We have met with the children's librarian several times and I am so excited to see how this goes. It is beneficial for my students because it teaches them even more about reading, gets them out and into the community, and gives them an opportunity to feel successful. This one should be really cute.

Number Two: I am working with some amazing colleagues from the Greater Madison Writing Project on a collaborative and multi-age discussion of the Go Big Read book: Enrique's Journey by Sonia Nazario. My students, main high school students, UW-Madison freshman, and community members are all going to read the book and get together in October to discuss. It is a truly moving and informative story about immigration between Central America and the United States. This is going to be a really amazing project and it is so fun for me to get to work with so many different people.

Number Three: One of my classes always attends a play at American Players Theatre in the fall for a viewing of a Shakespeare play. This year we are going to see Taming of the Shrew. Before attending the play, we always read it out loud in class. This is usually a painful experience for everyone; the language is new (old, really) and challenging, kids think they can't understand any of it, I make them keep reading... this goes on through the entirety of the play. This year, however, is maybe the first time I have read a Shakespeare play with students and they really are understanding it from the start. It is so great to hear them laugh at the funny parts - a true sign that you know and understand what you are reading.

Well...I guess I am feeling a little better about things, but moreover, I feel like collaposing on the couch and watching re-runs of The West Wing. When I started this blog, I was on a high note at the end of the school year, I realize now that when you are in the thick of it, things are not as pretty. Good things are still happening and for now, that is what I need to focus on.

Week One.

Week one done. Well... let's be honest, "week one" was only a day and a half with students, but it could have fooled me. A new schedule with a million glitches, new students, new parents, starting up a new writing workshop, inservices, fire drills, arranging and re-arranging my room all made the first week feel like the first month. I went into this school year knowing that some things were going to be tricky in the beginning; I thought I had gotten all zen-like and prepared myself to proceed accordingly. The best laid plans... Both days of inservice left me stressed out to the point of being angry, and I found all the little things getting under my skin and making me feel stupid (twice). So, I am not going to lie, it has been a rough start to the school year. Before the kids came on Thursday, I was lying in the fetal position on the couch in the staff kitchen moaning about how I wasn't ready and I just needed some more time. I somehow mustered the courage to walk out the door, and I am glad that I did. On the first day of school, juniors became seniors, sophomores became juniors, and new students asked for hugs (twice). Things are never as bad as they seem they are going to be (this will be my mantra). As I drove away on Friday, I thought about the things I will get to do with my students this year. I thought of the books they will read, the conversations we will have, the writing they will do, all the things they will create that will show that they are young and growing people. It made me so excited. Even if it has been a rough start, I love teaching and I am excited to really get down to it. This weekend I got caught up on some planning, spent time with friends, and ate turkey with some of my co-workers. I work with some amazing people, and if it is going to be a rough start or a rough year or both, I am glad to know I have people who love, trust, and challenge me in my corner. It is now late night on Labor Day (10 PM is late for this girl), and I will start my first day of working on the new school tomorrow. More to come on all of these things.

Our New School

So... a lot is happening (and school hasn't even started yet) and I feel the need to communicate what is going on at my school. Handily enough, I worked with a few fellow staff members this morning to develop our talking points about what we are doing, so I am ultra-prepared to draft this here blog post.

I currently work at a small alternative high school that primarily serves at-risk high school students. For those of you who don't speak in educational jargon , "at-risk" mainly means that these are students who have fallen behind their graduating class in credit earnings. I need to backtrack already to say that not all of our students fall into this category, but most do. Further, the reasons as to why our students are at-risk vary widely. Over the years that our school has been in operation, an immeasurable amount of good has been done in the lives of the children that came through our doors. It is with bittersweet sentiment that I will tell you that this school year (2011-12) will be the last year of our school.

The staff at our school are mostly of the workaholic creative type. We have done some amazing things in our classrooms as they are, but there are so many things (schedule, traditional assessments, school policies, etc.) that stifle us from doing our best work with students. It is this (and some other things that are not as interesting to write about) that has led us to the need for a new charter school.

Our new school (name to be determined) will be a community- and project- based, interest-driven, participatory cooperative school. There is some jargon for you. I won't give you our talking points yet, as they are still being tweaked, but I will be sure to elaborate on the above words/phrases soon. What I find so amazing right now and want to share with you is that my staff and I get to start a new school. I have only been teaching for six years, but I imagine that teachers work their whole lives wishing that they could change the system and build a school around what is really important - we get to do this. I don't have words for how this feels (which is inconvenient as this is a blog) but any of you who have ever wished education were different, and I imagine this is a lot of you, can appreciate the gravity of the moment.

In personal news, I have taken on a leadership role on our steering committee. This means that I will be letting go of two classes and using that time (and probably a lot more time) to work on the new school. I can't tell you how excited I am about this. For example, tonight I am writing this at 7:33 PM; I would ordinarily be sitting on the couch and watching What Not to Wear, but I just got a new book about writing workshop and I am itching to get back to it. Honestly, I feel so lucky to have been given this time read, learn, and grow and apply all of what I come up with to the new school. I have moments of panic: I don't know how to start a new school! But I trust that I am not doing it alone and we will all figure it out along the way.

As I write this, I hear the tune of an ice cream truck traveling through my neighborhood. This is such a sound of summer to me. Lest I be fooled, school is starting and for me, starting in a new and exciting way that it never has before.

Readings

In addition to writing a fair amount, which is evidenced by this here blog, I have been reading a lot this summer. A few of the titles are relevant to the blog and I wanted to share some that I thought were particular rockstars with all of you. I have provided you with links to purchase these titles at Better World Books because I know that after reading this you will want to buy copies for yourself and all of your friends :)

A Reason to Teach: Creating Classrooms of Dignity and Hope by James A. Beane

This book was recommended to me by a fellow member of the Greater Madison Writing Project. One of my current interests is democratic education and this book provides a practical and inspiring way of looking at education as a way to prepare students to participate in and to improve our democracy. It is a hard-hitting read; I found myself wanting to jump and cheer while reading it. Beane challenges the traditional system in a way that seems so obvious - why aren't schools like this already?! This is readable for teachers at any level and I am going to recommend it to all of my staff members.



Place- and Community-Based Education in Schools by Gregory A. Smith and David Sobel


If you are interested in what my school is doing this year and in the coming years (and I know you are!) this book is it. This book has provided me with a touchstone for understanding the basics when it comes to place/community-based education. They are clear and concise as well as helpful for starting projects in your own school or classroom.



Writing America: Classroom Literacy and Public Engagement This one is not available on Better World Books, so this link goes to Amazon. I recommend you buy it used :)

This lovely volume is written by a collection of teachers in the National Writing Project and focuses on their experiences with place-based learning. The experiences range in subject matter and grade level and is full of ideas as to how to engage students in community-based research, inquiry, and journalism.

Lastly, I just finished reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. I was scared by the cover, but I encourage you try to get past that. If you need a laugh after all that school related reading - I highly recommend it :)

Wisconsin Teachers of Local Culture: Lakefronts and Backstories Cultural Tour

I have a tendency to over-schedule during the summer. So naturally between the summer institute and a houseboat vacation with friends, I decided to sign up for a cultural tour with the WTLC. While I don't regret taking the tour in the least, I lament the lack of time I always seem to forget that I need to process, apply, and unwind from one experience to the next. This leaves me drafting this post from my bedroom cabin on the aforementioned houseboat vacation in hopes of summarizing the experience for myself and so that I can put all of these thoughts to rest and enjoy some cold beer and our on boat water slide!

I spent the week of August 1-5 on a cultural tour of Wisconsin. Specifically we toured the area around Lake Winnebago. I knew very little about this place before embarking on the tour. I traveled with my colleague, Robyn, as well as twenty other teachers from around the state. We were led by four remarkable individuals: Ruth Olson (a folklorist and the associate director of the Center for the Study of Upper Midwestern Cultures), Anne Pryor (the folk and traditional arts specialist at the Wisconsin Arts Board), Mark Wagler (a folklorist, researcher with the UW-Madison Local Games Lab, and consultant to Badger Rock Middle School), and Steve Ackerman (Professor of Atmospheric and Ocean Sciences, and the Director of the Cooperative Institute of Meteorological Satellite Studies at UW-Madison) who all shared unwavering passion for local culture.


Robyn and myself strolling through Algoma, WI.

I was able to see and do things on this tour that I don't think I ever could have been able to experience otherwise: visiting the Oneida Summer Arts Program for children, talking with Hmong-American Vietnam Veterans at a memorial to their service, meeting artisans: a boat builder, wood cover, Chinese cook, organic farmers - the list goes on...


Atop the Point Beach Lighthouse.

The purpose of the tour was to engage teachers in local culture so that they might do the same with their students. We were all at different places with this idea, some teachers have taken yearly trips, some use the community in their classroom daily, others had little to no experience at all. As my school is starting anew in the 2012-13 school year as a community-based school, this was the perfect opportunity to experiment, learn, and think.

Like the Greater Madison Writing Project, I am sure this will be an experience that I go back to again and again. For now, here are some of my most tangible take-aways:

1. People want to talk to you. This sounds silly, but one of my concerns about taking students out into the community was that we would be inconveniencing people, businesses, organizations. Everyone we talked to on our tour was excited to have us visit and to be given the opportunity to tell their story. I think this is almost universal and it makes the community seem more open and inviting.

2. School becomes relevant when it connects to life outside the classroom. And why shouldn't it?! Isn't it our duty to provide students with relevant curriculum? How did schools ever become so isolated from the riches of their local community?

3. Local community provides an endless amount of potential. Who knew that people surf year round (not a joke) on Lake Michigan!? Who knew how much fun Robyn would have curling?!

Robyn: Curler extrodinare. Green Bay Curling Club.
If students are aware of the healthy, interesting, community-connecting options in their areas, maybe they won't feel so alone or take such unhealthy risks.


Overall, the experience left me exhausted, but uplifted about the potential that lies ahead. I feel full of ideas and inspiration that will hopefully carry me through this exciting year of planning a school around the ideas of place and community connection.


The whole crew at Saxon Creamery.

**Photo Credit: Ken Swift - recently retired Madison Metropolitan School district teacher and amazing photographer! Featured on left of lighthouse photo.

Reflections on the Greater Madison Writing Project Summer Institute

I have fallen a little bit behind on blogging. Which was probably bound to happen. (School hasn't even started yet... yikes.) I have, however, been writing a lot - just not online. So, I will begin where I left off by wrapping up my experience in the summer institute with the Greater Madison Writing Project.

It is difficult to put into words how powerful and inspiring my time in the summer institute has been. People talk about summer institutes as life changing; I would instead describe it as an experience that took my every curiosity, interest, passion related to education and enriched it. I regularly found myself wanting to be able to learn more faster, to take it all in as quickly as possible, all the while knowing that it can take a lifetime to become a masterful teacher (or student for that matter). After a rocky relationship with this profession, I feel refreshed and deeply recommitted. The summer institute reminded me that I love education, I never cease to be interested in it, and I am prepared in a new way for what lies ahead.

The institute left me a snow-globe brain full of ideas and things to learn more about. A few that are currently surfacing include: democratic education, Nancie Atwell's writers workshop instruction, mindfulness practices in the classroom, authentic education, habits of mind, and place/community-based learning.

In addition to sparking my interest and allowing me to rethink old ideas, I came to a few currently tangible realizations about education. They are as follows:

1. I need to come to teaching joyfully. I may have written about this previously, but I realized this summer how much my attitude has influenced my practice. For me, what this means is that I need to read and write joyfully if that is what I want for my students.

2. I don't want to ever stop being curious. There is so much I want to know more about that I just can't get enough fast enough. If this ever goes away, it will be time for me to stop teaching.

When I sought out this opportunity, I was mostly looking to find a community of professionals to be connected to. I feel so blessed to have round this network and I am excited to see how we grow together in the future. As I move forward with this school year (and the next, and the next), I feel prepared, inspired, enlivened as an educator and an individual.

An Open Letter to my Students or Why We Will Be Writing

This is a poem I wrote this week, my last week with the Greater Madison Writing Project Summer Institute. It started as a letter, but I think will end up as a spoken word piece. I hope it articulates who I am to as a writer/teacher of writing and my hopes for my students. Enjoy.

Well. It looks like we have all ended up in an English class.
Some of you rejoice.
Some of you shudder with horror.
Some of you exude indifference.

Maybe you are here because you know me and wanted to be here.
Maybe you are here because it fit into your schedule.
Maybe you are here because you need .5 English this semester.
Maybe you are here because you failed last year and you are hoping that second-time is a charm.

Throughout the semester, I will often tell you that I know everything.
(This is just a lie I say to be funny.)
But I do know this: whether you are rejoicing, shuddering or sleeping; whether you think you are here because of your schedule, your English credits, your failure,
I know that you are here,
That we all are here,
To remove ourselves from the illusion of our separateness.

You might call it English class,
I call it a journey.

The thing about our lives, although we all are in such different places,
is that no matter how we stack it
we are more alike than we are different.
And while the world often makes us feel alone in our struggles,
you can find in here:
peers and poets
storytellers and songs
that have asked the same questions that keep you up at night,
laughed at the same jokes (the kind that make your face hurt),
and cried the same tears that you are afraid to tell anyone about.
Because we all share the human condition,
and I can learn more from you
than you ever thought you had to give.

In our room we will read from authors:
in our midst
and outside.
We will write who we are,
what we know,
and why we dream for more.
I can tell you that you need to write to do well on the ACT, get into a good school, to get a job.
But I know that you already know that
and honestly,
I don’t think those are great reasons to write anyway.

We write so that we might come into our own lives - the people we were, are, and want to be.
I want you to know that writing is the hardest mountain to climb,
but will also slip effortlessly from your fingers like sand.
Writing is a risky cliff dive into icy water,
and it is coming home to fresh baked bread
all at the same time.

And this is another thing that I do know for sure:
Every time we write
we get better
and every time we write,
we become more fully ourselves.
I don’t care about your ACT score, where you go to school, or what you do to pay the rent.
I want to help you to learn to have a good life.
And if you are working to become better and more fully yourself
you will be well on your way.

I will ask a lot of you,
and I will always believe in you.
I promise to respect you,
to challenge you,
to grow with you.

Come as you are (it is the most important thing you can be).
Raise your pens, open your minds, and see:
that what exists between us is nothing more than the illusion of our separateness.
What exists between us means the world.

Greater Madison Writing Project or What I have been doing for the past two weeks.

Yesterday my friend Liza asked me to re-explain what I am doing in the writing project, and I realized it perhaps needs revisiting on the blog. In April, I was accepted into the first cohort of the Greater Madison Writing Project, a branch of the National Writing Project (NWP). All participants take part in a Summer Institute (SI) which for me, is Monday-Thursday from 9-3:30 in Madison at Olbrich Gardens throughout the month of July. Everyone who is involved is related to the education system: teachers (elementary, middle, high, post-secondary), librarians, instructional specialists, and graduate students.

The general philosophy of the NWP is that educators possess knowledge of best practices which often goes unshared; in the SI, each participant produces a "Teacher's Workshop" wherein they share what they are doing or plan to do in their classroom related to writing. So far, we have heard presentations about homeless and highly mobile students, Deborah Meier's Habits of Mind, authentic instruction, mindfulness practices, digital writing, writing workshops, and collaborative rubric writing. The wealth of knowledge amongst my peers is overwhelming and inspiring. In addition to this sharing, we spend a great deal of time reading, writing, and discussing various topics related to educational interests.

I feel blessed to be a part of this group; I am challenged and enriched by them every day. I have learned so much already and am excited to see where the next two weeks take us. This week, I had a realization as to how I am growing as a teacher and as an individual. It took the shape of a poem and I thought I would share it with you all here.

For a long time my voice was silenced
my own comparisons to others
and insecurities
telling me
"You are not as smart as they think you are"
"Yours is not as good"
"If you just worked harder, you would be better"
For a long time
I listened

All the while
(as all good hypocrites will do)
I worked every day to get my students to feel
good
strong
smart
about themselves
their work
their ideas
and their place in the world

But those words
lessons
truths
were for my students
not for me

I don't know why I have always been so hard on myself
Maybe the media's idea that women can be everything and nothing at the same time
Maybe my father's legacy of never feeling as though he achieved enough

Everyone told me that your 30's are better than your 20's because you know yourself better
and you don't worry about things so much anymore
I turned 30 last month
and I think it is starting to take hold

When I went to orientation for the GMWP, Melissa told me how powerful my writing was
I was sure she had me confused with someone else
Such a compliment from the director of the UW Writing Center (a huge force in my education)
was like gold to me

The voices and the insecurities started to build
but I stopped listening to them so much

I started a blog (!!)
people read it
and liked it

I go to the summer institute every day
and don't compare my work to others
but appreciate it

I share my work
writing
ideas
and have confidence that they are valuable

Someone brought up the idea that if we want it for our students
it has to start with us

It will be impossible for me to erase all of my insecurities
but I have a stronger - more supportive voice now
for my writing
for my students
for myself

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

This is my second week of the Greater Madison Writing Project Summer Institute. I anticipated having a lot of things to post on the blog (which I do), but did not anticipate the lack of time to post. I am learning so much here every day and will have so many things to share and think through on this blog in the future. For now, I wanted to share a piece from a multi-genre assignment we are working on. Everyone in the institute was asked to write five separate pieces illustrating five different ways of looking at who we are. [Note: I will be using this assignment in my classes in the near future.] I focused on significant aspects of my life, one of which being teaching and the work I have done. As a genre, I settled on a job application (I don't think I have ever thought of a job application as a genre before, but work with me, people). So, below you will find my application/reflection on being a teacher. If you have read the blog before, some of this may sound familiar. Just goes to show that if you keep what you have written, you can use and re-use as needed. Thanks for reading.

***********************************************************

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

GENERAL INFORMATION
Name: Orum, Bryn J. Also known as: Ms. Gross, Ms. Orum, Ms. O, Ms. G, Ms. O-G
Home Telephone: Call me when you need to, if you don’t have anyone else, I will come and_ help you.
Address: This one I am not going to tell you. Enough said.

Position Or Type Of Employment Desired: Teacher of English, reading and writing. I desire to be a positive influence in the lives of children. I seek to empower and inspire. 

Will Accept:
X Part-Time
X Full-Time
X Temporary
… Is teaching really anything but Full-Time?

Are you able to perform the essential functions of the job you are applying for, with or without reasonable accommodation? Define “reasonable accommodation”. Applicant will require that employer isunderstanding of regular emotional outbreaks of joy as well as crisis of confidence. Applicant has been known to take risks that many would find uncomfortable and be unabashedly herself at all times.

Salary Desired: I know I won’t be paid what I am worth. For that matter, I don’t believe you can put a price on these things. I expect to be paid fairly and respected for what I contribute to our society.
    
EDUCATION AND TRAINING (high school, college, graduate school, licenses, certifications, registrations, etc.) Check, check, check. What have I learned? What do I know? I know that I am rich with the experiences of my years, the words that I have been lucky enough to learn from, and I am ever curious and full of questions. I know that I am always learning. I believe education is for all.
    
WORK EXPERIENCE
Employer: Madison Metropolitan School District Position: Substitute Teacher

Lessons Learned: It is a myth that if you sub you will get a job in the school you are hoping to get into. Never take jobs to sub for middle school band classes. Don’t let their cuteness fool you, first graders can make you cry.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Employer: McFarland and Edgerton High School Position: Summer School Teacher

Lessons Learned: It is a myth that teaching summer school will help you get a job in a school district. Don’t teach summer school... ever. Away from the comfort of my cooperating teacher, teaching in my own room can be scary.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Employer: Big Foot Union High School Position: English and Speech Teacher

Lessons Learned: Just when you think no one will hire you, you get a job at the most unfortunately named school you applied to. Working an hour away from home is worth it (tell yourself this every day on your drive to and from work). Don’t underestimate parent entitlement. When a student is absent on every day that a speech is due, they are calling themselves in sick. Not all administrators are on your side. There are people out there willing to give you a shot. You need to have a little experience in order to get hired closer to Madison.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Employer: Middleton Cross Plains Area School District Position: English Teacher

Lessons Learned: Doing good and lasting work is never going to be easy. Do not agree to

provide wake-up calls to students every morning. Be personal, but don’t take things personally. Believe in the process and be patient with yourself and them. Bring chocolate to meetings. Providing education to under-served populations is an act of social justice. Make friends with your librarian, he/she has lots of money to spend. If you give students something good to read and believe in them, they will really read it. Progress is more important than perfection. It is not my job to save them all (believing that it is will be the end of me)._

REFERENCES (or people who have helped me along the way):

Name: Becky Gross Relationship: Mom

I decided to become a teacher because of my mom. My mom has worked as a teacher and school social worker in a variety of settings over the course of her career. When I was little, she would get Christmas cards from former students thanking her for benefiting and sometimes saving their lives. I couldn't figure out exactly what this meant at the time, but I knew that other adults didn't get the same kinds of Christmas cards that my mom did

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Chris Laing-Martinez Relationship: advisor to Amnesty International club in high school

Chris taught me that there was injustice in the world, but at the same time showed me how powerful social action could be. He taught me to be a voice for the voiceless, which I didn’t understand completely until I was able to be a voice for him in his time of need. When I started teaching, Chris wrote me a letter; at the end he told me he hoped I was doing well, he knew I would and that it was important to remember that as teachers, our lives are the hidden curriculum. I framed these words and keep it on my desk (and on my mind) always.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Vicki Shaffer Relationship: work-wife and co-English teacher

I had no idea what was coming to me when I was hired at MASH and teamed with Vicki Shaffer as a fellow English teacher. She has organized my life from classroom to relationships and is ever patient with me “great new ideas” for teaching English. Her wisdom balances my newness and her dedication to caring for all students inspires me. Vicki helps me remember that it is not the big, sweeping changes that we need to focus on, but the small everyday kindnesses that add up._

I certify the information contained in this application is true, correct, and complete. I understand that, if employed, false statements reported on this application may be considered sufficient cause for dismissal.


B. Orum 12 July 2011

ACT Prep: joys and challenges.

I am just over a week into a class that I teach for the UW-Madison PEOPLE Program. A little background to this part of my educational career: the PEOPLE Program recruits and supports promising students in middle school and early high school who are from low-income families, students of color and/or will be the first in their families to attend college. I believe in the mission and goals of the PEOPLE Program and am proud to work with the students each summer. My role in the program has been to teach an ACT Prep course to students during the summer at UW- Madison. Teaching this class always brings up mixed feelings for me. I got into the PEOPLE Program through my cooperating teacher, Rob, who used to coordinate the ACT Prep classes. Rob used to say that the ACT was built to keep people out of college and that preparing students to jump over the hurdle that the ACT presents was an act of social justice. Inspired by "St. Junior" by Sherman Alexie, Rob would tell students that in doing well on the test they could kill Custer. Every day I teach for the program, I take this revolutionary attitude with me. With this class, as is with every class, there are some highs and lows that offer both questions and insight.

In case it wasn't already, I want to be clear and say that I don't think the ACT is a good test of student intelligence or ability. Knowing the test as well as I do, I would never want education to focus on preparing students for such a biased, short-sided, and time-centric measurement. That being said, as long as colleges still use this as a tool for evaluating prospective students, I believe it is only fair to prepare students to do well on the test. One of the challenges I face with my students building connections that foster a strong teaching and learning experience. I have fourteen students who are between their sophomore and junior year. We meet five days a week for three weeks, for 75 minutes a day and use a canned curriculum to prepare for the test. I didn't know my students before this class and I don't have a lot of time to get to know them now. While I come to class with an understanding of the challenge of the test and its significance in their lives, my students come to class kind of tired and not too interested. In my school-year classroom, I have a little more street cred with my students and can use my connection with them to help motivate and focus. I have a handful of students in ACT Prep who always come ready to learn, but the majority don't seem to grasp the challenge of the test and the need to prepare. The test is incrediably high stakes and many have never taken anything like it before. When I can't engage them, they miss the opportunity to take steps towards college acceptance. At the root of it all, I am coming to realize that to teach or learn in a meaningful way, building a connection between teacher and learner is vital. Because the material is difficult and rather boring and because many of the students don't know me enough to trust me with their time and energy, they end up missing out on a chance to help them over this roadblock between themselves and their college aspirations.

On a positive note, there have been some lovely things that have happened in our class. Yesterday we were working on preparing for the writing portion of the test wherein students have 30 minutes to attempt to write a five-paragraph persuasive essay. In reviewing the strategy with my students, I could tell immediatly we were not speaking the same language regarding essay organization. I stopped the lesson to go over some essay diagrams and basic definitions. As we concluded these clarifications, one student asked where I had learned this informaiton and if I teach it to my students. I didn't remember where I learned it, but I have always been very clear with my students as to what they need to do in their writing. My ACT student was amazed, it was like I had unlocked the puzzle of what an essay and a thesis statement were supposed to look like. This interaction made me realize how important it is to be clear with students; achieving success shouldn't be a mystery challenge. I know that for this student her ACT essay and every other essay she writes will be better because form and organization were made clear for her.

At the end of this week, the students will take their first full length practice ACT test, and I have a feeling, reality will hit them hard. We will have one more week after this to re-group and keep practicing and then they will return home for the remainder of the summer. Next summer I will hopefully have the opportunity to work with a fresh batch of kiddos; I am sure many of the joys and frustrations will be the same, but I feel lucky every year that I have opportunity to help deserving students find their way into college.

summer.

In recognition of the summer solstice today, I went to a yoga class that celebrated the transition to summer. Many who practice yoga complete 108 traditional sun salutations on both the summer and winter solstice. I did 12 salutes in class, which will have to do for now. Someday, I hope to be one of the many yogis on the banks of the Ganges completing the 108 salutations, but that will be another solstice, another year.

As my summer begins, I thought I would report a little bit about what I will be doing and what (if you continue reading :) will be happening on my blog. For the past several years, including this year, I have been teaching an ACT prep class for the University of Wisconsin - Madison, PEOPLE Program. I just finished my second day of class and was happy that I remembered all of my students names. Teaching this class always challenges me to think about the nature of such high-stakes tests in a new way. More insights to come on this.

As ACT Prep comes to an end, I will be participating in the first summer institute of the Greater Madison Writing Project. I am so honored and excited to be a part of this organization; I know that my head will be exploding with ideas, questions, inquiries and plans throughout the entire experience. The GWMP summer institute will take up most of my July, but I get to go to school for free, which for me, is one of the best things ever.

My final teaching related summer endeavor will be participation in a class called "Lakefronts and Backstories" put together by the Wisconsin Teachers of Local Culture. A friend and colleague of mine recommended this class and I am currently very interested in placed-based learning opportunities.

When I started this blog, I thought I may have made a mistake starting a blog about teaching at the end of the school year. While I will make lots of time for relaxing, reading, yoga, dog walking and napping, I am excited to have such amazing teaching and learning experiences ahead of me this summer.

In yoga, the heart is known as the inner sun; so on our longest day of sunshine, I wish you both a light heart and a happy summer.

my classroom.

I wanted to share with you my classroom before I pack it all up for the summer. These are some pictures of my favorite things and places in my room. I am super sensitive to my surroundings, so I like my room to look pretty. I also had a student tell me once that when he was not listening to me, he looked around the room and read all the stuff on the wall. So, the room is really just another way for me to get my kiddos thinking positively.


This is the front of my classroom. This past school year we decided to focus on respect, responsibility and reflection. Being present is a constant challenge for me, so I decided the kids and myself could make use of a reminder.




This is the door to my office. The rainbow sticker is the one I referenced in my last blog post. I bought it when I got my first job. As far as I am concerned it will always hang in my classroom. Additionally, I do love books.




At my school we often joke (but are actually quite serious) about needing a "peace corner" where you can go to pull yourself back together whenever you seem to have lost your mind. Below is a photo of my "peace bulletin board". I have a collection of post cards, pictures, stickers, etc. from my travels that allow me to escape when necessary.




This is a mural that a group of students painted a few years ago. It was a lovely team effort and I can still see each student's hand in the finished product. It is surrounded by several of my favorite student book projects.




The final shot of my classroom is also from my office door. I reference this quote regularly in my classes as it is truly why I come to school every day. If my students learn nothing else in their time with me, I hope that they learn to see/feel/understand how connected they are to each other and their world.

making it better.

There are a few stories that intersect to (hopefully) make the point I am going for in this post. My husband says that I jump around a lot when telling stories (which is true), so I am going to number and label each story for your reading enjoyment.

Story #1: Rainbow Hope
When I was a senior in high school, one of my best friends, Lesley, came out to me. We attended a private Catholic high school, and there were not any students or teachers there who were openly gay. While there were many good things about our school, to explain it simply: it was not a safe environment for anyone who was gay.

I am fortunate to have maintained a friendship with Lesley since high school. She once told me that there was one guidance counselor at our school who had a small rainbow sticker in his office; she took solace in knowing that there was one person in our school who would accept her. I never want any student to go through what Lesley went through in high school and as a teacher I have the ability to make it better for all of my students.

Story #2: Mind Freak
This year, I partnered with the University of Wisconsin - Madison School of Education Common Read committee to bring James St. James, the author of Freak Show, to my Literary Analysis class. The students and teachers who read his book spent one rainy, but exciting morning in my classroom with this amazing individual and cultural icon. One of the students asked James to comment on the It Gets Better Project wherein individuals create testimonial videos encouraging gay youth (or anyone struggling for that matter) to keep in mind that living an openly gay life will get easier in the future. James told the kids that he did not believe the It Gets Better Project was a good thing for the gay youth community. He said that it was unfair for adults to tell youth that they needed to wait for life to get easier. The idea challenged me to think more about how I relate to and support my LGBTQ students.

Story #3: Celebrate
A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to attend the Gay Straight Alliance Celebration of Leadership in Madison. One of my coworkers was a founding member of this group which has grown into an a truly powerful organization. The theme of the evening was: Make It Better. Listening to student, teacher, administrative and community leaders speak about their work and experiences was both beautiful and empowering. The evening found a balance between the pride and strength of the LGBTQ community, and the serious and immediate need to create safe and supportive environments for all students.

Teaching to make it better...
Since I have had my own classroom, I have had a rainbow sticker. It is in honor of Lesley, her struggle and her pride, and all of my LGBTQ students. Hearing James St. James encourage my students to be the freaks that they are, and celebrating those who work to make life better for LGBTQ students made me realize that as a teacher, what I do in my classroom is powerful beyond words. I can play the role of many of my high school teachers, who heard hateful statements and looked the other way, or I can make it better for my students now by addressing and condemning hate in all its forms. I realized that teaching to make it better doesn't tell LGBTQ youth to wait until they are older to have safe and happy lives, it creates the world they deserve to live in now. It cultivates tolerance and understanding; it eradicates ignorance and hate. I am proud of the work I have done in my classroom to support and celebrate LGBTQ individuals; but I am challenged to do more every day. Every student deserves to be safe at school; I hope for the day where I can say that is true, but until it is, I will work to make it better.

how I got here.

I decided to become a teacher because of my mom and also because of my high school English teachers. My mom has worked as a teacher and school social worker in a variety of settings over the course of her career. When I was little, she would get Christmas cards from former students thanking her for benefiting and sometimes saving their lives. I couldn't figure out exactly what this meant at the time, but I knew that other adults didn't get the same kinds of Christmas cards that my mom did.

I remember two of my high school English teachers very clearly: Ms. Noe and Mr. Burke. Ms. Noe taught my freshman Humanities class. She was hilarious in the classroom using voices to tell stories to high school students. What I remember the most was that in discussion of whatever we had been reading, she would ask questions of us that exploded in my mind. She pushed the boundaries of my freshman mind into analysis and critical thinking. I marveled at her ability to come up with questions like that.

Mr. Burke taught A.P. English which I took during my senior year. Most of his students loved him thinking he was straight out of Dead Poets Society, but we quickly figured out that he was just totally crazy. It took me a little while longer to figure out that he was totally crazy in a good way. Mr. Burke's assignments were so challenging that I often didn't try very hard so that I wouldn't have to face failure. Over the course of the year, he challenged me to work hard so that he could help me become a better reader, writer, and thinker. I came around and he did as promised. I was surprised to find that in my first college English class, I was way ahead of many of my peers when it came to writing. I emailed Mr. Burke to thank him.

When I started teaching, I had a lot of ideas of how to "do it right". These were met with frustration and failure. I now know that the only way for me to be effective as a teacher is to be myself in my classroom. I am, however, always mindful of the people who inspired me to do this job. Every day, I try to show compassion for people at challenging times as my mom did , ask mind-blowing questions like Ms. Noe, and challenge my students to be more than they ever thought they could be like Mr. Burke did for me.

begin.

I volunteered at a summer camp for artsie kids for several years. When meeting new people at camp, it was common to ask, "What is your art?" I have tried to be an artist using paint, beads, clay. I have come to find that my art is teaching. My classroom is my studio. This blog will be my art gallery.

As I begin, I am on the tail end of my sixth year of teaching high school English. As I stand on the edge of another summer (where it is always easy to feel optimistic and proud) I am happier and more secure with my dedication to education than I ever have been before. I didn't always feel this way and teaching has not been an easy job to love every day; but I have come to see that I am quite lucky to have a profession that is also part of my purpose. In a lot of ways, I think I have one of the most important jobs in the word.

I live in Wisconsin which has been an interesting place to be a teacher in 2011. The politics of this year have made me realize that there is a lack of understanding of what it means to be a teacher in our country. I don't claim to have the answer to any of it, but someone recently told me that instead of all the political babble, what we need to hear are each other's stories. So I offer up here, my story: what it is like to teach high school English, reading and life skills at a small alternative high school in (what has been called) the best place to live in America.

I also began this blog because I feel the need for a creative challenge. I have always liked writing, so when it came down to to what to write about, it seemed inevitable. I don't know or care about anything (aside from my dog and husband... but I didn't think there would be a demanding audience for these topics apart from myself) as much as I care about education. I believe that education is the single most important thing in the world. When we come together to learn, we become more than we ever could have been on our own. Education breaks down walls, challenges assumptions, furthers humanity. I could go on forever... and so, I will.

On these virtual pages I want to share with you (whoever you are) my evolution as an educator: what I am doing in my classroom and school, what I am reading and thinking about, the challenges, the joys, the ongoing journey of teaching, learning, and growing. It is my hope that this will be for me (and you) a place to reflect and connect.

A word about the title. In addition to being a teacher, I am an active yoga student. I have been practicing regularly for the past few years and find that many of the principles that I articulate in my curriculum are in line with the ideals of yoga. I just love it when things come full circle. The word "om" has different meanings depending on where you look. To me, when chanted at the end of a blissful yoga class, the sound captures the feeling of clarity and connectedness I hope to feel every day. More than anything, in my classroom, I want my students to understand their connection to each other and to cultivate curiosity about themselves and their world. Om is my way of articulating that mission.