The book that is changing my life

Not to be demanding or anything, but I am going to need everyone I know to purchase and read Walk Walk Out, Walk On but Margaret Wheatley and Deborah Frieze.  I have given you a hyper link, so go on, click and purchase.  Thanks.

Now that we have that accomplished... I would like to tell you a little bit about where I am coming from here.  For the past six months, my principal has said to me: "Have I told you about Walk Out, Walk On?" or "This is just like in Walk Out, Walk On..." or "Since reading Walk Out, Walk On..." at least once a day.  This week one of the authors, Deborah Frieze came to Madison to talk about her work.  As I walked away from the discussion that night, I knew that in the coming years, I would look back at that event as a seminal time that changed the way I think about my work. 

As I finished reading the book this morning, I so badly wanted to write a blog entry about it, but right now, I think my mind is really just marinating in the stories and ideas and I can't seem to come up with one or two coherent thoughts. (Aren't you glad you are reading this blog?)

So, as I need some time to work with these ideas, I decided to share some of the most powerful selections from the book with you.  If for some unknown reason you have not yet ordered your own copy, this should change your mind.  Warning: some of these quotes reveal the really challenging ideas (and I would say truths) about living and working with others.  Prepare to be disrupted. 

Walk Out, Walk On Principals
Start anywhere, follow it everywhere.
We make our path by walking.
We have what we need.
The leaders we need are already here.
We are living the worlds we want today.
We walk at the pace of the slowest.
We listen, even to the whispers.
We turn to one another.

On playing instead of working...

"When we play, we're in a constant process of discovery, experimentation, risk-taking, and creation.  We tinker.  We invent.  We dream and we imagine and we make believe until it's time to go our there and build the world we dream of" (59).

"Yes, play creates chaos and redundancy and confusion.  But it also creates the space in which we invent together, we inspire each other, and we talk through our differences" (61).

Assumptions that limit our ability to play...
-The answers exist out there - and the experts have them.
-To get things done, you need people of power and influence to champion your cause.
-Plan ahead and stick to your plan.
-Nothing gets done right unless you're in control.
-Don't ask for other people's opinions.
-We don't have time to experiment and tinker around.
-We mustn't fail!  (And when we do, find someone to blame). (62)

"Play returns us to a state in which we can see what's possible - not what's so" (64).

On problems...
"What if we experts could acknowledge our frustration and become curious?  What if we got interested in the interconnectedness of a problem rather than trying to hold it all within our one speciality?  What if we noticed all the others who are connected to this problem, who are motivated to solve it?... We discover more is possible with curiosity than with certainty.  We discover that not being right opens the space for other people's good ideas.  We discover there are many people just like us, deeply committed to finding a solution" (96-97). 

On gifting...
"We all have different needs for safety and security.  But security can also come from relationships rather than stuff, and gift culture is an invitation to deepen our relationships" (145).

On intervention...
"However well intentioned the intervention might be, it is always rooted in the belief that people need help, they can't help themselves, and it is our duty to 'interrupt' their experience on their behalf" (170).

"Intervention is not fundamentally flawed... But it's a short-term strategy for the immediate situation; any longer-term change requires the engagement of the person or people" (171).

On becoming a host rather than a hero...
"'We believe that when human beings are invited to work together on what truly matters to them, they will take ownership and responsibility for moving their issues and ideas into wiser actions than the last'" (191). 

"And it is time for us to give up our personal attempts at heroism.  Are you acting as a hero?  Here's how you know.  You're acting as a hero when you believe that if you just work harder and put in more hours, you'll fix things; that if you just become smarter or learn a new technique, you'll be able to solve problems for others.  You're acting as a hero if you take on more and more projects or causes, no matter how worthy, and have less time for the people you love and the activities that nourish you.  You're playing the hero if you still hold the belief that it's up to you to save the situation, the person, the world" (210). 

On Learning...
"Learning is not about getting it right or becoming the expert; it is about creating an environment of conviviality, discovery, and joyfulness" (25).

On Forgiveness...
"'To forgive is not to be altruistic.  It is the best form of self-interest.  What dehumanizes you, inexorably dehumanizes me.  Forgiveness gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all the efforts to dehumanize them'" (82).



There is so much more I want to write, but I will leave it at that.  I am excited to take up this lens with my work.  There are some aspects that will be much harder for me than others, but I believe that I can do more through my community than I can do alone. 

If you feel confused, intrigued, excited, I encourage you to read more.  I would love to talk with anyone who does.

Go Big Read

In my Life Skills class we have a traditional circle question at the start of each new week: a low (challenging part) of your weekend, a high (great part) of your weekend, and a goal for your week.  I am going to follow this format for my entry about the Go Big Read because it is a perfect way to tell the story.

Low

7 October 2011

Yesterday I took my students on a ropes course field trip.  It was a beautiful October day and my kiddos were fantastic.  They surprised themselves with how much they could accomplish, how well they could support each other, and how much fun they had. 

After school yesterday, I attended a workshop on Socratic Seminars.  I am a newbie to this form of discussion, so I won't go on about it now, except to say that I am super excited to work with this method in the future. 

Between the ropes course and the workshop I stopped back at my classroom to see how things went while I was away.  One of my classes is taking part in a community conversation in connection with the University of Wisconsin - Madison Go Big Read program.  They are reading a book called Enrique's Journey by Sonia Nazario which tells the story of one young man and his journey from Honduras to the United States to find his mother.  I am planning this conversation for students with several other teachers, mainly folks I met this summer during the Summer Institute.  The workshop I mentioned previously was part of the preparation for our event.  Lots of time, money, and energy has been spent to make this event special and meaningful for the students involved.  Returning to my classroom after the ropes course, I found a report from the sub explaining that not one of my students had completed the first reading assignment for the day. 

I love - love - my students in so many ways.  They are challenging, insightful, real.  I wouldn't for a second go back to students who only want to know if what I am saying is going to be on the test or why they have an A- and not an A.  But sometimes, it feels so very hard to teach the students I have.  Swim through concrete.  Nail Jello to a wall.  Read 44 pages over three days - why couldn't they do that much?

At the Socratic Seminar workshop, the presenter described the seminars as focused and intelligent dialogue that interrogates a text.  While I understand the value of the metaphor of my students completing a high ropes course, I don't want to watch teenagers do trust falls all day.  It is focused and intellectual dialogue that makes my heart skip a beat. 

Sometimes teaching is really hard.  Sometimes you are unsuccessful no matter how hard you work.  Today was disappointing. 

High

19 October 2011

The Go Big Read event was one of the coolest educational opportunities I have been involved in.  Despite my concern, the majority of my students completed the reading, prepared for our event, and participated.  With much help from many talented and dedicated teachers, we brought in two speakers, Professor Susan Robinson from the School of Journalism and Mass Communication who spoke to the students about the method of storytelling that Nazaro engages and Professor Petra Guerra, Associate Director of Chicano and Latino Studies who spoke about immigrant representation in mass media.  UW freshman from English 100 courses lead groups of students in seminars.  

I think there were so many directly and indirectly positive things that came out of this event: our students got to visit UW Madison, talk with college students, hear college professors, see the media coverage of an event they were a part of.  They talked about the book they read, heard stories, asked questions, made connections.  We were able to share with them the heart of the Go Big Read - engaging in conversation over a thought provoking text.  It is, of course, how "real people" (as opposed to "high school students") really read and learn (why is there a difference??).  We ended the event asking students to write on a post it note what they had learned, thought about, or realized during their experience.  At the very end, we invited students to stand and share what they wrote.  After a few minutes of awkward silence, one by one, students stood and said a few words about what this book and this experience meant to them. 

What I like the most about the Go Big Read is, as my friend Lauren so eloquently said (and I will be stealing to use again), is that we don't read or write in isolation and events like ours and the Go Big Read provide the opportunity for people to come together and talk about their reading.  For me, reading and writing are infinitely more powerful and profound when shared with others.  I hope that with this event we begin a tradition of bringing high school students into the conversation at this annual university community read.

Goal

I learned a lot from the highs and lows of this experience.  I know that I would like to continue having students read the GBR book selections and participate in the many community discussions and activities that take place.  Early on, much of my frustration came from the fact that I was working so hard to provide them with an authentic learning experience (which they should be so excited and grateful for because they are stuck inside schools and desks all day), but they are stuck inside schools and desks all day and they don't remember how fun authentic learning experiences can be.   

 

Coming away from this event, my goal is to use what I learned to create a school where students have more choice and therefore (hopefully) more ownership of their learning.  But more importantly (to me) is that they remember how fun learning, discussing, and questioning can be.  I want to create many more opportunities for this kind of learning to happen and I want to be patient as my students learn to remember.    

For more on this event:

UW Students Lead Go Big Read Discussions

Students Engage in Socratic Discussions of Enrique's Journey

Oh right... I have a blog.

For anyone who read this blog at any regular interval, I apologize for the extreme lack of content for the past several months.  Something that happens to teachers (me, at least) is that we have grand plans over the summer as to what our lives can be like during the school year: I am going to read, blog, and make dinner every day.  At some point, the honeymoon of summer wears off, you haven't read anything that you are not also grading, you forgot you ever created a blog, and you are eating take-out from Qdoba. 

I am being dramatic, but as I tell my husband, no one knows the difference and it always makes the story better. 

In truth, I haven't been writing much at all for myself since the start of the school year.  I didn't realize how  much I missed it until I got together with some of my Greater Madison Writing Project peeps a few weeks ago.  We caught up, reminisced about the summer, and wrote together with a prompt from Lynda Barry's book What It Is. 
I left our get together bought my own copy of Barry's book (I recommend that you do too) and made a list of all the events, ideas, questions, growing pains I wish I had written about in a timely fashion this year.  So, better late than never, perhaps, I am going to go back and share some of the happenings of my year with you. 

I look forward to reflecting as well as catching up.  Thanks for reading. 

Catching my breath

The principal at our main high school organized a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class through UW Health for teachers in our district at a reduced rate. The classes are taught by two lovely women who also work at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. All of the participants are educators. So it is basically super awesome.

I have practiced mindfulness via meditation at various times, but my goal related to this class is to have an embedded practice. I want to (and need to) do a little bit every day. I haven't been going to yoga classes for almost a month now. Part of that is related to my overloaded schedule, but I also found that my yoga classes just were not getting deep enough for me anymore. When I first started practicing yoga, I remember having this beautiful zoned out but still present feeling as I moved through the postures. I don't know if it is just me, but the classes at my studio started to seem just like a work-out instead of a moving meditation - which is really what I crave. So, as I budgeted for the year, I decided to drop my membership at the yoga studio and take this class.

We had our first class last week and I have been working on several daily activities: some at home and some at school. I have done meditations with my students lots of times, but again, not in a daily practice kind of way. This past week, I started every class with a short breathing activity and you wouldn't believe the difference it makes. My nuttiest group of kids were more calm and focused than they had ever been. Several students expressed how much they liked the activities. I think of how little I knew of myself as a teenager and how out of touch I was with how I was feeling - I can imagine it feels great for them. Or at least, they are going along with it. This is something I am committing to continuing in my classes in some form on a daily basis.

For me, I have practiced a breath and balance meditation with the aid of a CD recording at home. In addition to the CDs, the class provided us with a key ring loaded with weekly mantras.





This week the meditation is on loving and kindness. While at school I find time to pause (crazy hard to do - but necessary), "drop in" to my body, and focus on the mantra. If you can't see it in the picture it is as follows: May I be safe; May the children be safe; May all be safe; May I help create safety through the qualities of my presence.

I am really enjoying the practices so far, but everything gets better when you can share it with someone. This week one of my students was feeling really stressed out - she is truly an academic rockstar, but has been absent due to illnesses and struggled to stay on top of her work. She told me she had been looking for guided meditation online without much success. I told her about my class and gave her my CDs after I had loaded them into itunes. In our closing circle at the end of the week, students say their best and hardest part of the week; she said that the best part was getting and using the CDs. Paying it forward always pays off.

So, if you feel so inclined... find a comfortable place where you can remain still for an extended period of time... close your eyes or focus on a non-moving spot and allow your vision to fade... now, find your breath.

The good, the bad, and the stressful.

Ugh.
I am having blog guilt.  You started this thing... you aren't just going to forget about it... are you?
I also feel a sore throat coming on and the list of things to do on my school calendar seem like they will never end.
I snapped at several kids today.
It feels like March in my school life and it is only September 15.
Our pay cut went into effect today.
Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I am doing. What I am doing, however, just never seems to stop. I know I need to let things go, but sometimes it is too difficult to figure those things out, so I just don't let anything go. There have been long hours at school and nights working at home; I haven't been to a yoga class since school started. Yuck.

Ok... Pull it together. Maybe it isn't that bad, but I am a little overwhelmed right now. I am going to use this blog post to try to cheer myself up, so I will tell you about some of the great things that are happening at school instead of writing a rant about all the things on my plate right now.

Number One: The public library in our neighborhood reached out to us to do a partnership wherein my reading students would run regular storytime presentations for the early childhood readers. We have met with the children's librarian several times and I am so excited to see how this goes. It is beneficial for my students because it teaches them even more about reading, gets them out and into the community, and gives them an opportunity to feel successful. This one should be really cute.

Number Two: I am working with some amazing colleagues from the Greater Madison Writing Project on a collaborative and multi-age discussion of the Go Big Read book: Enrique's Journey by Sonia Nazario. My students, main high school students, UW-Madison freshman, and community members are all going to read the book and get together in October to discuss. It is a truly moving and informative story about immigration between Central America and the United States. This is going to be a really amazing project and it is so fun for me to get to work with so many different people.

Number Three: One of my classes always attends a play at American Players Theatre in the fall for a viewing of a Shakespeare play. This year we are going to see Taming of the Shrew. Before attending the play, we always read it out loud in class. This is usually a painful experience for everyone; the language is new (old, really) and challenging, kids think they can't understand any of it, I make them keep reading... this goes on through the entirety of the play. This year, however, is maybe the first time I have read a Shakespeare play with students and they really are understanding it from the start. It is so great to hear them laugh at the funny parts - a true sign that you know and understand what you are reading.

Well...I guess I am feeling a little better about things, but moreover, I feel like collaposing on the couch and watching re-runs of The West Wing. When I started this blog, I was on a high note at the end of the school year, I realize now that when you are in the thick of it, things are not as pretty. Good things are still happening and for now, that is what I need to focus on.

Week One.

Week one done. Well... let's be honest, "week one" was only a day and a half with students, but it could have fooled me. A new schedule with a million glitches, new students, new parents, starting up a new writing workshop, inservices, fire drills, arranging and re-arranging my room all made the first week feel like the first month. I went into this school year knowing that some things were going to be tricky in the beginning; I thought I had gotten all zen-like and prepared myself to proceed accordingly. The best laid plans... Both days of inservice left me stressed out to the point of being angry, and I found all the little things getting under my skin and making me feel stupid (twice). So, I am not going to lie, it has been a rough start to the school year. Before the kids came on Thursday, I was lying in the fetal position on the couch in the staff kitchen moaning about how I wasn't ready and I just needed some more time. I somehow mustered the courage to walk out the door, and I am glad that I did. On the first day of school, juniors became seniors, sophomores became juniors, and new students asked for hugs (twice). Things are never as bad as they seem they are going to be (this will be my mantra). As I drove away on Friday, I thought about the things I will get to do with my students this year. I thought of the books they will read, the conversations we will have, the writing they will do, all the things they will create that will show that they are young and growing people. It made me so excited. Even if it has been a rough start, I love teaching and I am excited to really get down to it. This weekend I got caught up on some planning, spent time with friends, and ate turkey with some of my co-workers. I work with some amazing people, and if it is going to be a rough start or a rough year or both, I am glad to know I have people who love, trust, and challenge me in my corner. It is now late night on Labor Day (10 PM is late for this girl), and I will start my first day of working on the new school tomorrow. More to come on all of these things.

Our New School

So... a lot is happening (and school hasn't even started yet) and I feel the need to communicate what is going on at my school. Handily enough, I worked with a few fellow staff members this morning to develop our talking points about what we are doing, so I am ultra-prepared to draft this here blog post.

I currently work at a small alternative high school that primarily serves at-risk high school students. For those of you who don't speak in educational jargon , "at-risk" mainly means that these are students who have fallen behind their graduating class in credit earnings. I need to backtrack already to say that not all of our students fall into this category, but most do. Further, the reasons as to why our students are at-risk vary widely. Over the years that our school has been in operation, an immeasurable amount of good has been done in the lives of the children that came through our doors. It is with bittersweet sentiment that I will tell you that this school year (2011-12) will be the last year of our school.

The staff at our school are mostly of the workaholic creative type. We have done some amazing things in our classrooms as they are, but there are so many things (schedule, traditional assessments, school policies, etc.) that stifle us from doing our best work with students. It is this (and some other things that are not as interesting to write about) that has led us to the need for a new charter school.

Our new school (name to be determined) will be a community- and project- based, interest-driven, participatory cooperative school. There is some jargon for you. I won't give you our talking points yet, as they are still being tweaked, but I will be sure to elaborate on the above words/phrases soon. What I find so amazing right now and want to share with you is that my staff and I get to start a new school. I have only been teaching for six years, but I imagine that teachers work their whole lives wishing that they could change the system and build a school around what is really important - we get to do this. I don't have words for how this feels (which is inconvenient as this is a blog) but any of you who have ever wished education were different, and I imagine this is a lot of you, can appreciate the gravity of the moment.

In personal news, I have taken on a leadership role on our steering committee. This means that I will be letting go of two classes and using that time (and probably a lot more time) to work on the new school. I can't tell you how excited I am about this. For example, tonight I am writing this at 7:33 PM; I would ordinarily be sitting on the couch and watching What Not to Wear, but I just got a new book about writing workshop and I am itching to get back to it. Honestly, I feel so lucky to have been given this time read, learn, and grow and apply all of what I come up with to the new school. I have moments of panic: I don't know how to start a new school! But I trust that I am not doing it alone and we will all figure it out along the way.

As I write this, I hear the tune of an ice cream truck traveling through my neighborhood. This is such a sound of summer to me. Lest I be fooled, school is starting and for me, starting in a new and exciting way that it never has before.