Yesterday my friend Liza asked me to re-explain what I am doing in the writing project, and I realized it perhaps needs revisiting on the blog. In April, I was accepted into the first cohort of the Greater Madison Writing Project, a branch of the National Writing Project (NWP). All participants take part in a Summer Institute (SI) which for me, is Monday-Thursday from 9-3:30 in Madison at Olbrich Gardens throughout the month of July. Everyone who is involved is related to the education system: teachers (elementary, middle, high, post-secondary), librarians, instructional specialists, and graduate students.
The general philosophy of the NWP is that educators possess knowledge of best practices which often goes unshared; in the SI, each participant produces a "Teacher's Workshop" wherein they share what they are doing or plan to do in their classroom related to writing. So far, we have heard presentations about homeless and highly mobile students, Deborah Meier's Habits of Mind, authentic instruction, mindfulness practices, digital writing, writing workshops, and collaborative rubric writing. The wealth of knowledge amongst my peers is overwhelming and inspiring. In addition to this sharing, we spend a great deal of time reading, writing, and discussing various topics related to educational interests.
I feel blessed to be a part of this group; I am challenged and enriched by them every day. I have learned so much already and am excited to see where the next two weeks take us. This week, I had a realization as to how I am growing as a teacher and as an individual. It took the shape of a poem and I thought I would share it with you all here.
For a long time my voice was silenced
my own comparisons to others
and insecurities
telling me
"You are not as smart as they think you are"
"Yours is not as good"
"If you just worked harder, you would be better"
For a long time
I listened
All the while
(as all good hypocrites will do)
I worked every day to get my students to feel
good
strong
smart
about themselves
their work
their ideas
and their place in the world
But those words
lessons
truths
were for my students
not for me
I don't know why I have always been so hard on myself
Maybe the media's idea that women can be everything and nothing at the same time
Maybe my father's legacy of never feeling as though he achieved enough
Everyone told me that your 30's are better than your 20's because you know yourself better
and you don't worry about things so much anymore
I turned 30 last month
and I think it is starting to take hold
When I went to orientation for the GMWP, Melissa told me how powerful my writing was
I was sure she had me confused with someone else
Such a compliment from the director of the UW Writing Center (a huge force in my education)
was like gold to me
The voices and the insecurities started to build
but I stopped listening to them so much
I started a blog (!!)
people read it
and liked it
I go to the summer institute every day
and don't compare my work to others
but appreciate it
I share my work
writing
ideas
and have confidence that they are valuable
Someone brought up the idea that if we want it for our students
it has to start with us
It will be impossible for me to erase all of my insecurities
but I have a stronger - more supportive voice now
for my writing
for my students
for myself
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